Picture it: a warm summer day at Lac des Dagueys, France. Families splashing in the water, children building sandcastles, and somewhere out there, a Moroccan national bobbing about like a philosophical jellyfish, allegedly groping mothers and pondering his own metaphysical exile.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, France has hit another proud milestone in the ongoing European festival of immigration policy absurdity: a man with a history of sexual assault, currently on an Obligation to Leave French Territory (OQTF) notice, manages to dodge deportation by invoking that most sacred and non-negotiable human right, his atheism.
If there were a Cannes Film Festival for legal theatre, this man would win the Palme d'Or for Best Performance in a Courtroom Farce. Summoned before the Libourne Criminal Court for allegedly groping a woman at a public beach, he launches his defence not with evidence, remorse, or a denial that makes sense, but with a declaration that he can't possibly be sent back to Morocco.
Because… he doesn't believe in God!
No religion? No deportation! Surely, Voltaire himself would agree that disbelief should be the ultimate passport stamp.
Let's review:
He's already under a deportation order.
He has failed to report to police repeatedly.
He's accused of groping a woman at a lake (witnessed by a lifeguard).
He was found drunk and tossed into a tank.
He's got a separate trial pending for sexually assaulting a minor.
And what does the court hand him? A six-month suspended sentence (read: nothing) and a beach ban.
Yes, in today's France, the criminal justice system has evolved into an elaborate game of "Where Shouldn't You Swim Next?" We eagerly await his next conviction at the local waterpark.
The OQTF, Obligation to Quit French Territory, is an impressively bureaucratic phrase that sounds like it might mean something. In reality, it's a kind of moral suggestion, like "please RSVP" or "do not eat before Mass."
Authorities seem baffled by what to do next. Deport him? But he's an atheist! He might be uncomfortable back in Morocco, where society has... opinions. And we wouldn't want anyone to feel unwelcome, would we?
Besides, that groping charge is just a cultural misunderstanding. Didn't you know lakes in Europe are now postmodern moral grey zones?
Here's the uncomfortable truth: this case isn't funny, it's a canary in the coal mine of immigration enforcement collapse. France, like much of Western Europe, has created a system where:
Criminal migrants with no legal right to remain can stay,
Legal systems trip over themselves to avoid offending anyone,
And the public, especially women and children, pay the price.
Imagine explaining this to your average working-class Frenchman:
"Don't worry, Pierre, the man who assaulted your niece can't be deported—he's just too enlightened for Morocco."
In a saner world, someone who violates a country's hospitality once, let alone twice, would be on the first plane home. Atheism, after all, is not a diplomatic immunity card. It's a belief system, or lack thereof, not a legal Get Out of France Free pass.
But we don't live in that world. We live in a world where courts hand down suspended sentences, public beaches have rap sheet registries, and deportation depends on whether the accused will feel sufficiently pampered upon return.
So next time you're at a French beach and someone's a little too friendly, just remember: they may not be harassing you, they might just be expressing their deep secular distress!
"A man who claimed he could not be deported to Morocco because of his atheism has been convicted of sexual assault in France after groping a woman at a popular lake.
The defendant appeared in the dock at the Libourne Criminal Court on Monday, July 7, facing charges over an incident at Lac des Dagueys. The assault occurred last July, when a mother felt a man grope her buttocks while in the water.
She initially dismissed it as accidental due to poor visibility, but quickly became suspicious when the man nearby started harassing her, striking up a conversation.
A lifeguard later approached her and informed her that the same man had been reported earlier in the day for similar behavior.
In court, the man denied the accusations, claiming in broken French, "I didn't touch anyone. It's a conspiracy. There were many people in the water." However, the woman later identified him at the police station, where officers noted that he was under the influence of alcohol at the time of his arrest. "My eyes were red because of the water," he insisted through his interpreter, but the presiding judge reminded him that police had placed him in a drunk tank after his detention.
His defense lawyer criticized the prosecution's case, calling for his acquittal in this trial.
As reported by Sud Ouest, the Moroccan national is already known to authorities for another case involving sexual assault on a minor.
During the proceedings, it emerged that the man had been subject to an Obligation to Leave French Territory (OQTF) since Sept. 26, 2023, and had repeatedly failed to report to the Bordeaux police as required. In his defense, he told the Court, "I can't return to Morocco, I'm an atheist."
The Court sentenced him to a six-month suspended prison term and banned him from Dagueys Beach and all public swimming areas for one year. He is scheduled to stand trial again in September over the separate case of sexual assault involving a minor.
It is unclear whether the man will be forcibly deported following the conclusion of any subsequent custodial sentences."