The narrative is familiar: patriarchy is the villain, holding women to impossible beauty standards, sexualising them in youth, and scorning them as they age. But what if this story is too tidy, too ideologically convenient? A provocative piece in Aporia Magazine by Bo Winegard, reacting to the online mockery of Jennifer Love Hewitt's appearance as a mother of three, flips this narrative on its head. It argues that feminism, not patriarchy, is the real culprit behind the cruel body myths tormenting women today. By dismantling the cultural reverence for motherhood and promoting sexual liberation, feminism has intensified intrasexual competition, forcing women into a relentless battle to remain youthful and alluring. This discussion makes the case that feminism, in its quest for freedom, has inadvertently perpetuated harmful body myths and fostered a culture of cruelty among women.
Historically, traditional societies, often labelled patriarchal, revered women for their roles as mothers and matriarchs. The Roman matrona, robed in her stola, was a figure of moral authority, guiding her household and children in the ways of virtue. The Victorian "angel in the house" was celebrated not for her sexual allure but for her nurturing presence, a sanctified caretaker above the fleeting game of romantic attraction. Religious iconography, from the Virgin Mary to other maternal saints, reinforced this elevation of motherhood as the pinnacle of feminine virtue. A plump, aging body, marked by pregnancy and childcare, was not mocked but honoured as a testament to a woman's life-giving role.
Enter the feminist revolutions of the 20th century. Second- and third-wave feminists, seeking to free women from domestic roles, rejected the maternal ideal as oppressive. They argued that tying women's worth to motherhood confined them to servitude, chaining them to biology. In its place, they championed the "liberated" woman, sexually expressive, economically independent, and unburdened by traditional expectations. This vision promised autonomy, but it came at a cost: the public dignity of motherhood was shattered. What was once a revered role became, in the eyes of some, a degraded state, a sagging, scarred body competing against younger, firmer rivals in a sexual marketplace that never sleeps.
Feminism's emphasis on sexual liberation didn't just free women to express their desires; it intensified competition among them. In traditional societies, a woman's status as a mother or matriarch often placed her above the fray of sexual rivalry. Her value lay in her wisdom, moral authority, and role as a custodian of culture, not in her ability to turn heads. But as feminism dismantled these roles, women were thrust into a new arena where sexual allure became a primary currency. The result? A culture where women, from celebrities like Jennifer Love Hewitt to everyday mothers, face pressure to maintain youthful beauty through cosmetics, fitness, and even surgery, all in a losing battle against time.
This competition isn't just about pleasing men, as the feminist thesis often claims. Women are not a monolithic sisterhood; they are rivals, often more aligned with men than with each other. As Winegard puts it, "Woman is a fox to woman." Social media amplifies this, with women critiquing each other's bodies, mocking wrinkles, weight gain, or scars, not always to win male approval but to diminish rivals. The goal is to erode confidence, to make another woman feel less desirable, less competitive. Studies, like a 2019 analysis in Evolutionary Psychological Science, show that women engage in indirect aggression (gossip, body-shaming) more than men, often targeting perceived threats in the social hierarchy. Feminism's push for sexual liberation has turned this dial to eleven, creating a culture where women feel compelled to stay "marketable" or risk obsolescence.
The feminist rejection of motherhood as a central feminine virtue has produced body myths that torment women. Once, a fuller figure or signs of aging were badges of honor, proof of a woman's role in nurturing the next generation. Now, they're liabilities in a culture obsessed with youth and thinness. Jennifer Love Hewitt, a 46-year-old mother of three, was mocked online for looking like… a 46-year-old mother of three! Her crime? Not resembling the sultry teenager of her I Know What You Did Last Summer days. This expectation, that women must defy aging to remain relevant,is not a patriarchal invention but a by-product of feminism's devaluation of maternal roles.
The data backs this up indirectly. A 2021 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, found that women in societies with higher gender equality (often tied to feminist ideals) reported greater pressure to conform to beauty standards, driven by competition with other women. Meanwhile, in more traditional cultures, older women often gain status as matriarchs, valued for wisdom over appearance. Feminism's liberation narrative, by prioritising sexual and economic autonomy, has inadvertently made women's bodies a battleground, where aging or weight gain is a defeat rather than a natural stage of life.
The feminist thesis, that patriarchy imposes impossible beauty standards, oversimplifies the issue. Men have always admired youth and beauty, but traditional societies often balanced this with reverence for older women's roles. Feminism, in rejecting those roles, left women vulnerable to a new kind of tyranny: the pressure to remain forever young and sexually competitive. The cosmetics industry, worth $532 billion globally in 2023, thrives on this insecurity, as does the $50 billion plastic surgery market. Women like Hewitt face barbs not because men universally demand it, but because a feminist-influenced culture has normalised judging women by their sexual capital over their lived experience.
This isn't to say feminism caused all body shaming, human nature has always had its petty side. But by dismantling the cultural structures that once protected women from such scrutiny, feminism has amplified the cruelty it claims to fight. The liberated woman, free from the "tyranny" of motherhood, now faces the harsher incarceration of constant comparison. A 2022 Psychology Today article noted that women on social media platforms report higher body dissatisfaction when exposed to peer-driven content, not just male-driven standards. The feminist dream of autonomy has, paradoxically, trapped women in a cycle of self-objectification.
The solution is about recognising that feminism's war on motherhood has had unintended consequences. We can celebrate women's autonomy while restoring respect for maternal roles and aging bodies. Cultural narratives could shift to honour women like Jennifer Love Hewitt not for defying age but for embodying the strength and wisdom of motherhood. Media, influencers, and even women themselves can reject the toxic cycle of intrasexual sniping, choosing instead to uplift, rather than tear down.
Feminism promised liberation, but in its rejection of traditional roles, it has perpetuated body myths that punish women for being human. By encouraging competition and sidelining the dignity of motherhood, it has created a culture where women are judged not for their character or contributions, but for their ability to stay forever 21. It's time to rethink this legacy, not to blame women, but to free them from a tyranny feminism started.
https://www.aporiamagazine.com/p/feminism-against-jennifer-love-hewitt
Written by Bo Winegard
Blame feminism.
After photos circulated of Jennifer Love Hewitt walking the red carpet in a black dress with spaghetti straps, boorish discourse ensued. Hewitt, once a young, sultry actress, now appeared a plumper adult. A mother. More mature and wiser, but also less alluring to those who had admired her as a teenager. To many of them, she had committed the sin of being a finite human and not some timeless work of art.
Jejune jokes and belittling comments about her weight filled the comment sections beneath tweets of her photographs.
Many opined that these crude comments and attacks on Hewitt were the inevitable work of patriarchy, of men dominating and humiliating women by holding them to impossible ideals. These patriarchs, we are told, sexualize girls, then scorn them for aging. They dehumanize, reducing the vast subjectivity of a woman to a fleshy body—a mere ornament to be ogled.
This is what we might call the feminist thesis of discourse about women. The feminist thesis claims that impossible standards of beauty are weapons of male control, used to denigrate and subjugate. This thesis is widely promoted, especially among educated elites, but it is implausible.
The explanation is too simple, too ideologically convenient. A more plausible account must look not to patriarchy, but to two broader, interrelated social trends. First, the second and third feminist revolutions, which emphasized sexual liberation, have exacerbated intrasexual competition among women, where sexual allure becomes a primary instrument for securing status and desirability. Second, these same feminist revolutions have dismantled the reverence for motherhood that once dignified maternal bodies and honored aging women for their roles as caretakers of children and custodians of a civilization's moral memory.
The result is a society in which women are no longer respected for maternal dignity, for gaining weight or aging naturally. Instead, they are compelled to remain sexually alluring as long as possible, using cosmetics, fitness regimens, and eventually surgery in a vain battle against time itself. Competition for youth, thinness, and sexual capital is more intense than ever. The sanctity of motherhood is no longer honored but dismissed as an antiquated norm, a holdover or vestigial organ to be removed or transcended, but certainly not celebrated.
Not only is the feminist thesis wrong, it is the opposite of the truth. It is feminism, not patriarchy, that has given rise to the impossible ideals now tormenting ordinary and famous women alike. It is feminism that encourages the barbs that sting aging women with maternal bodies. It is feminism that has vitiated the power of the wise, dignified woman, trading it for the fleeting currency of sexual capital.
In many traditional (that is, patriarchal) societies, motherhood, and the plump body that often accompanied it, conferred dignity, not derision. The aging female body, marked by the strains of pregnancy and the labors of childcare, was not treated as an undesirable sexual body but was lifted above sexuality altogether.
The Roman matrona exemplified chastity and exercised moral authority, robed in a stola and often commanding the household (domus). She did not compete with younger women for sexual allure; she guided the moral development of her children, inculcating Roman virtues and the ways of the ancestors (mos maiorem). The Victorian "angel in the house" likewise was not a seductress, but a sanctified presence whose maternal role eclipsed the fleeting intrigues of romantic dalliance. Religious iconography reinforces this elevation of motherhood across Western civilization, celebrating Mary and other saints for their uniquely feminine contributions to life. They were depicted not as sexual, but as motherly beauties. Plump, reserved, life-bearing beings.
The cultural reverence for motherhood did not survive the feminist revolutions of the twentieth century. Many feminists rejected the maternal ideal, the "angel in the house," as repressive, claiming it was a role devised by men to confine women to domestic servitude. In its place, they celebrated the image of the liberated, "autonomous" woman, sexually expressive, economically independent, and freed from the burdens of biology. Feminism rejoiced in the ruin of the sanctified mother and matron.
But in shattering what they called the tyranny of motherhood, feminists also destroyed its public dignity. What was once considered the culmination of feminine virtue, the highest expression of woman's life-bearing gift, became simply a degraded body, a ruined, sagging, and scarred body desperately competing against younger, firmer, more nubile bodies. And the older woman, once celebrated as a matriarch, was now expected to maintain sexual relevance or risk obsolescence. Women fled the putative prison of motherhood only to enter the harsher incarceration of constant sexual competition.
The intensity of female sexual competition cannot be explained solely by reference to male preferences or desires. The feminist errs profoundly in dividing the world into men and women, oppressors and oppressed. Women do not, in fact, share many interests and often have more in common with men than with one another. They are not comrades. They are rivals. If homo homini lupus est, then femina feminae vulpes est. Woman is a fox to woman, cunning and covert in her competition.
As the status of motherhood declines and the number of sexually liberated competitors increases, the pressure intensifies. Women's competition is often indirect and psychological rather than physical. They disparage one another's bodies, mocking flab, scars, wrinkles, not always to please men, but to wound rivals. The goal is twofold. To diminish the other's sexual status and to erode her confidence. A woman who is timid, insecure, and ashamed is far easier to surpass. She is less of a threat. Indeed, a cynic or a realist might contend that feminism itself is a tactic of intrasexual competition.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is, by any reasonable measure, a perfectly beautiful middle-aged woman with three children. The idea that she should still resemble a seductive teenager is not only bizarre, but also sinister. That many would mock her for looking precisely as she ought to look, i.e., a mother, is deeply lamentable. But to claim that the proximate cause of such uncouth mockery is patriarchy is absurd. Traditionalism, whatever its faults, reveres the maternal and discourages ferocious intrasexual competition among women.
No, the real source of this cruelty, beyond the ordinary pettiness of human nature, is feminism itself and its long war against the so-called tyranny of motherhood. In the name of liberation, feminism has intensified sexual competition and degraded the mother and the matron. It has encouraged a desperate quest for the fountain of youth, not in the New World, but in the scalpel of the plastic surgeon.